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I got a robot massage and lived to tell the tale

Can one really relax while being prodded by large robotic arms?

I am alone in a dimly lit room, splayed face down on a table. Megan Thee Stallion’s Mamushi is bumping from a speaker, and on a large screen, two white circles roam up and down an outline of my body.

Am I at an exclusive German sex club at 2am?

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Originally posted in the guardian.